有关英语的笑话。
有关英语的笑话。
有关英语的笑话篇一。
abetterdishwasher一台更好的洗碗机。
mrs williams lived in a small street in london, andnow she had a new neighbour. her name was mrs briggs, and shetalked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets andher new kitchen. “do you know,“ she said to mrs williams one day,"i" and forks beautifully.
" oh " mrs williams answered." and doesitdrythemandputtheminthecupboard,too"mrsbriggswassurprised. "well," sheanswered,"thethingsinthemachinearedryafter an hour, but it doesn"t put them away, of course.
" i"ve had adishwasher for twelve and a half years," mrs williams said. "oh" mrsbriggsanswered,"anddoesyoursputthethingsinthecupboardwhen it has washed them" she laughed nastily2. "yes, he does," mrswilliams answered.
"he dries the dishes and puts them away."威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上,现在她有了一位新邻居。
这邻居叫布里格斯太太,她对她的高档家具,漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论。
很多。你知道吗”有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道:“我有一台新洗碗机。它。
洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。” 哦”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗还可以把。
它们放进碗柜吗”布里格斯太太很吃惊。“嗯,”她回答说,“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和。
刀叉一小时后就干了,但当然啰,洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”威廉姆斯太太说:“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”“哦”布里格斯太太回答说,“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后。
能把它们放进碗柜吗”她不怀好意地大笑起来。
是的,他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把。
它们收起来。”有关英语的笑话篇二。
mygod我的上帝啊。
ascotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a london bus forfive miles along its route, all the while attempting to **oid the ticketcollector. finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells himto pay up:
you"ve been on for five miles --that"ll be 50 pennies, please,and 10 pennies for your suitcase." the scotsman responds:"i h**en"t,i want to h**e a penny fare, just got on this very moment.
" they beginto argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged1and finally, as the bus is passing over london bridge, he grabs2 thescotsman"s suitcase, and hurls3 it out of the bus. it lands in the riverand sinks without a trace. the scotsman stands shocked for a momentand says to the ticket collector, "my god!
not only are you treat toovercharge me for the ticket—but now you"re gone a drowned myboyjenny."一个苏格兰人提着一只大箱子,坐上了一辆开往伦敦的汽车。上车后,在汽车行驶了5英里的这段路上,他一直在试图躲开售票员。
售票员最终还是找到了他,并叫他补票:“你已经坐了5英里了,请付。
50便士,你的箱子还要付10便士。”苏格兰人答道:“我是不会付那么多钱的。我只付1便士,因为我刚刚。
上车。”最后,他们争吵起来。售票员越吵越生气,终于在车子行驶到伦敦大桥。
上时,抓起苏格兰人的箱子,用力扔出了车外。
箱子掉进河里,沉了下去。苏格兰人惊呆了,怔怔地站在那里,片刻。
之后对售票员说:“我的上帝啊!你不仅向我多收票钱,现在还淹死了我的儿子强。
尼。”有关英语的笑话篇三。
where am i我这是在哪儿。
nat lived in a small town in england. he always stayed in englandforhisholidays,butthenlastyearhethought1,"i"veneverbeenoutside this country. all my friends go to spain3, and they like it verymuch, so this year i"m going4 to go there too.
" first he went to madridand stayed in a small hotel for a few5 days. on the first morning hewent out for a walk. in england people drive on the left, but in spaintheydriveonthe aboutthis,andwhile7hewas8crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked9 him down.
nat lay10 on theground11 for a few seconds and then he sat12 up and said13: "wheream i" an old man was selling maps at the side2 of the street, and heat oncecame14 to nat and said, "map of the city, sir"兰特住在英格兰的一座小镇上。他的假日一直都是在这里度过的,可。
是去年,他想:“我从来都没有出过国。我的朋友们都很喜欢去日本度假,今年。
我也准备去那里。”他先是去了马德里,并在一家小旅馆住了几天。来到这里的第一天,他一早起来去散步。在英国,人们都是靠左行驶,但是西班牙人都是靠右行驶。
兰特忘记了这点,于是在他穿过一条繁杂的街道时,不幸被一辆自行车撞倒了。
兰特在地上躺了几秒钟,随后坐起来问道:“我这是在哪儿”这时,路。
边正好有一位老人在卖地图,于是他立即走上前去,对兰特说:“先生,买地图。
吗。有关英语的笑话篇四。
adogssbadhabit狗的坏习惯。
as a professional animal trainer, i was disturbed when my owndog developed a bad habit. every time i hung my wash out on theclothesline, she would yank it down. drastic1 action was called for.
iput a white kitchen towel on the line and waited. each time she pulledit off, i scolded her. after two weeks the towel was untouched.
then ihungoutalargewash andlefttodo my clean clothes were scattered3 all over the yard. on the linewas the white kitchen towel.作为一名专业的驯兽师,我对自己的狗养成的一个坏习惯感到很苦恼。
每当我把洗好的衣服搭在晾衣绳上时,它总会猛地把衣物全扯下来。对此,我必。
须要采取严厉的措施。
我在绳上搭了一条白色的厨房毛巾,每当它把毛巾扯下来时,我就会。
训斥它一顿。两个星期后,它再也不碰毛巾了。于是,我把许多洗干净的衣服搭。
在晾衣绳上后,就出去办事了。等我回到家时,洗好的衣服分散在院子的各个角。
落,只有那条白毛巾依然搭在绳子上。
有关英语的笑话篇五。
s**emoney省钱。
henrywasfromtheunited1 states and he had come to london for a holiday. one day hewas not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hoteland said, "i want to see doctor. can you give me the name of a goodone" the clerk looked in a book and then said, "dr2.
kenneth grey,**henry said, "thank yon very much. is he expensive" "well," theclerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for theirfirst visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies3 for later visits." henrydecided4 to s**e 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, hesaid, "i"ve come again, doctor.
" for a few seconds the doctor lookedat his face carefully without saying anything. then he nodded and said,"oh, yes." he examined him and then said, "everything"s going as itshould do.
just continue with the medicine i g**e you last time."美国人亨利来到伦敦度假。
有一天,他感觉不舒服,便来到旅馆服务台向服务员咨询:“我想看。
病,你能帮我找一位好医生吗”服务员翻阅了一下本子,然后说:“肯尼思·格雷医生,**亨利说:“非常感谢,他看病收费贵吗” “喔,”服务员回答说,“初诊患者收费2英镑,复诊收费1.
5英镑。”亨利琢磨着能省下50便士,于是,他去看病时对医生说:“我又来了,医生。
”医生一言不发地端详着他的面容,过了一会儿点点头说道:“哦,对。”医生给亨利做完检查后说:
“病情得到了控制,继续吃上次我给你的药就可以了。”
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