三打白骨精。
three times’ beating monster
人物：t唐僧s：孙悟空 e：猪八戒 j：沙僧。
b：白骨精（何平） b1：b变成的村姑 b2：b变成的太婆b3：b变化成的老头。
t: emitofo, do you know where we are now?
s: bajie, map!
e: (摸出，递给s)
s: look, boss (凑近t)……t、s一齐转向e）
t: bajie! how many times i h**e told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
e: oh, boss!forgive me(伸手拿回)
t: (缩手)i’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
e: but……
t: emitofo, nothing is lust, lust is nothing! map?
e: (递)here. em…… we h**e arrived in white tiger mountain!
ah i can’t walk on any more!(坐)my stomach doesn’t allow so.
s: fat pig!
e: monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again, i will ,i will………
s: you will what(凶相)?
e: (软禁)i will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
s: hm!
t:（轻咳）wukong,factually,i am a bit hungry could you go to get me some food?
e: you see , boss is hungry,too!
t: baijie!don’t forget who ate my last meal!
j: but boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
t: em…….it is a you h**e any idea?
s: no problem!(安装)（b已躲在一旁偷看）
j: this is…..
s: electric net!i h**e learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books.
so i made this. no monster can approach you if you stay in it!
t: em……wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! emitofo, knowledge is power!
s: bye!(走)
t: let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)**《斗地主》
b: hm!hm!electric net?you are too childish.(变成b1)
b1: (接近三人，望着)can i join you?
j: i’m sorry,lady. we are playing fighting against landowner and three people are enough.
b1: (在一旁**)oh,chance! bomb!
t: bomb?(打出)
b1: double king!
t: oh….i win! em……,lady, you are a boss-hand. come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
s: (回来，看见b1)oh,monster!(上前就打)
b1: （倒)ah……
t: (气愤)wukong! look what h**e done! she is my teacher!
s: she is a monster!
t: nonsense!(深呼吸)
s: oh,please don’t……
t:it’s too late!(唱)once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
s: please,please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
t: (呛住，咳)wukong, i’m disappointed with you!
b: (真身出现)hm! sun wukong, i’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
b2:hello,h**e you seen my daughter?
t: daughter?..连忙挡住地尸体)no, sorry!(陪笑，b2想看后面是什么，t挡)
s: （咬牙切齿）you monster, i’ll beat you into hell!(s追打b2,b2躲至t身后，s打，不想打到t头，t晕，s再打死b2)
e&j: are you ok, boss?(扶t)
j: look,(伸食指)how many?
t:two…..晕乎乎地)sun wukong, game over!(变成b3)
b3: (看到b1,b2尸体)oh….,my daughter, my wife! who did it?!!哭喊)
s: i’ll kill you, monster!(打)
t: （想阻止，未及）you,you...险些晕，e,j扶住 )you h**e killed three lives!
s: no,they are not human beings!they are created by monster!
t: monster?you are a real monster!never let me see you,go!!
s: (悲，离去)（**，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
j: boss, brother monkey is...
3、月球是距离地球最近的星球直径大约是地球的1/4，质量大约是地球的1/80，月球体积大约是地球的1/49，月球引力大约是地球的1/6。t: don't mention that guy any more!
1、世界是由物质构成的。我们身边的书、橡皮、电灯、大树、动物、植物包括我们自己都是由物质构成的。b: (出现) ha,ha,ha!(三尸体b1,b2,b3在b招手后“飘”走)
t: （惊）you are...
b: how foolish you are ,mr tang!(e,j去阻斗，被击退)
19、夏季是观察星座的好季节，天空中有许多亮星，其中人们称之为“夏季大三角”的是天津。
四、织女星和牛郎星。它们分别属于天鹅座、天琴座、天鹰座。b: (抓住t)i'll enjoy your meat and blood, ha, ha...
s: (悄悄走到b后，打b,b晕)a thousand years later.
t: wukong?
答：燃烧的蜡烛变得越来越短，发光发热并伴有气体生成。e: oh, brother monkey!
j: our hero is back!
答：我们在水中可发现变形虫、鼓藻、草履虫、船形硅藻等。t: i,i can't understand...what happened?
答：优点：占地小，避免了垃圾污染地下水，产生的热量还可以用来发电。
s: boss,your iq needs increasing! this monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
t: how, how did you find out?
7、月球的明亮部分，上半月朝西，下半月朝东。s: (沉默)..monkey's intuition(直觉)
答：火柴燃烧、铁钉生锈、白糖加热等。t: wukong(s不理t)i admit my mistake this time(s仍不理)i'm sorry(小声)
s: what?
4、科学家研究表明昆虫头上的触角就是它们的“鼻子”，能分辨出各种气味，比人的鼻子灵敏得多。t: i'm sorry.
s: em? louder, please?
t: i...am...sorry...s 捂耳)（**响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
17、近年来，我国积极推广“无车日”活动，以节约能源和保护环境。科学家也正在研制太阳能汽车和燃料电池汽车，减少对空气的污染。 (谢幕)
爱在西元前。
搞笑英语话剧剧本
搞笑英语话剧剧本 西门吹雪与叶孤城 搞笑5人剧本 西门吹雪与叶孤城 演员表 西门吹雪。叶孤城。花满楼。king旁白。道具 牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕 决战紫荆城之颠。旁白 a quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow birdsaredancingi...
英语短剧 吸烟
吸烟 smoking 老师 坐，知道我今天找你什么事？teacher sit down,do you know what i look for you today?男生 a 不知道。boy a i don t know.老师 有人举报你在厕所吸烟，有这回事？teacher someone repor...
英语短剧主持稿
女 欢迎来到 大学英语短剧大赛决赛的现场。我是主持人许可。男 我是主持人陆云松。男 五月是风华正茂青春洋溢的季节。女 五月是激情闪耀放飞理想的季节。男 走进五月，拥抱阳光，绚丽青春的舞台。女 走进五月，张扬个性，演绎别样的精彩。男 现在由我荣幸地宣布 大学英语短剧大赛决赛正式开始。女 下面请允许我们...