cabbage
q:why did the cabbage win the race?
a: because it was a-head!
问：为什么洋白菜赢得了比赛？
答案：因为它是一个头（它领先一头）
注：a-head:一个头；领先。
cakewhy did the boy eat his homework?
his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
为什么这个小男孩儿吃了他的作业？
他老师说那是一块儿蛋糕（小菜一碟）。
注：a piece of cake:一块糕点；小菜一碟。
there were two cakes in the cupboard this morning, but now the mother could only find one.
where is the other cake, do you know?”
i could only find one because it was very dark in there.”
今天早晨橱柜里有两块蛋糕，可是现在妈妈只找到一块。
你知道另一块蛋糕在哪儿吗？”
里面太黑了，我只找到一块”。
you know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
当买蜡烛花的钱比买蛋糕多时你知道你变老了。
call场景再现：脑筋急转弯：
why are whales big and gray?
because if they were small and pink, they would be called shrimp.
为什么鲸鱼个大，又是灰白色？
如果个小，又是粉红色，那是大虾。
what do you call it when you get struck by lightning?
a shocking experience.
你把被闪电击中叫做什么？
一段骇人听闻的经历。
注：shocking:骇人听闻的；shock：使受电击。
what do you call a giant[巨人] with lemons in his ears?
anything you want --he can’t hear you.
你把一个耳朵里塞着柠檬的巨人叫什么？
随你便——反正他听不见。
what do you call a cow that has two legs?
lean beef
两条腿的母牛叫什么？
瘦牛肉。father: wow, i’m impressed.
you were on the phone for only thirty minutes. most of your calls last two hours.
teenager: wrong number.
父亲：哇，这次你给我的印象深刻，你只打了30分钟**，你大部分**要花两个小时。
青少年：打错了。
注：这个青少年多能聊天呀，打错了**还能聊30分钟。
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no eye deer.
你把一头没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么？
不知道。注：no eye deer(没有眼的鹿与no idea(不知道)
elevator operator: this is the fifth floor, son.
child: how dare you call me son. we’re not related.
elevator operator: humph! i brought you up didn’t i?
电梯操作员：孩子，这是第五层。
小孩：你凭什么叫我孩子，我们俩又没关系。
电梯操作员：我把你带上来的（我把你养大的），是不是？
注：bring up养大；带上来。
camera
judge: why are you in my courtroom?
man: i’m a camera enthusiast, your honor.
judge: you mean you were arrested for taking pictures?
man: no, your honor. for taking cameras.
法官：你为什么在法庭上？
男人：我是个摄影（相机）爱好者。
法官：你是说你是因为拍照被逮捕的？
男人：不是，大人，是因为拿了相机。
campi really enjoy camping, especially since i don’t h**e enough money to buy an apartment.
我喜欢野营，特别是因为我没有足够的钱买房子。
注：他不是喜欢野营，他是没钱买房子，被逼无奈才住在帐篷里。
can场景再现：一个人开着车问路：
lost man: excuse me, can you tell me where i am?
farmer: yes, you are in your car, sir.
迷路人：请问，你能告诉我我在哪儿吗？
农民：能，你在你的汽车里，先生。
canada
i don’t even know what street canada is on.
我甚至不知道加拿大在哪条街上。
注：一个美国人问一个游客从哪儿来的，当听说是从加拿大来的时，这个美国人这么说。
cancer
we just made a big cancer breakthrough, let’s smoke and celebrate.
我们刚在**癌症方面取得了重大突破，抽支烟。
注：两个医生之间的对话。医生觉着自己能够发明**癌症的方法，所以才不畏惧吸烟。
candle
man 1: is your wife economical?
man 2: sometimes. she had only 26 candles on her fortieth birthday last night.
男人1：你妻子节俭吗？
男人2：有时侯。左晚她40岁生日只用了26根蜡烛。
you know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
当买蜡烛花的钱比买蛋糕多时你知道你变老了。
candyare you kidding me? i’m only a kid, how could i not love candy?
你在开玩笑吧？我只是个孩子，我怎么能不喜欢糖果呢？
注：父母不让孩子吃糖，小孩这么说。
son said to his mother: why not divorce daddy and marry the man at the candy store.
儿子对妈妈说：为什么不和爸爸离婚，然后嫁给糖果店那个人。
what candy is never on time?
chocolate
什么糖果从不准时？——巧克力。
注：chocolate:巧克力；late:迟到。
the father asked his son to divide candy with his younger brother.
how did you divide them, then?”
it is difficult to divide three pieces between two people, so i ate one first.”
父亲让男孩和他弟弟分糖吃。
怎么分的？”
两个人分三块糖太难了，所以我先吃了一块”。
capital
why is jim praying that chicago will be made the capital of new jersey?
that’s the answer he put on his geography *****.
为什么jim祈祷chicago是new jersey的州府？
那是他地理试卷上的答案。
what is the capital of washington?
the w华盛顿首都是哪儿？w
注：capital:首都；大写。
captain
why couldn’t pirates[强盗] play cards?
because the captain was standing on the deck.[甲板]
为什么强盗不能玩扑克？
因为船长站在甲板上。
注：船长在海盗里面是具有绝对权威。
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